In Blast from the Past, TWITTERpated will be conducting a series of hard-hitting interviews with well-known celebrities and personalities from the 80’s. While these interviews will focus primarily on New and Emerging Media relevant to our current marketing environment, you never know where the questions will take us.
Thankfully, TWITTERpated will never let the fact that many of our interviewees are fictional characters, deceased, or just plan ignorant of the world of Emerging Media, get in the way of a good discussion… Enjoy!
An Emerging Media Interview with Megatron, Dark Leader of the Decepticons
TWITTERpated: Megatron, thank you for taking time away from your pursuit of intergalactic domination and the destruction of the Autobots, to be with us today.
Megatron: THAT’S LORD MEGATRON, YOU BUMBLING BIALOGICAL BUFFOON!!!
TWITTERpated: My apologies Lord Megatron. Shall we procede with the interview?
Megatron: Get on with it human, before I strip the flesh from your bones…
TWITTERpated: O.K. then… Lord Megatron, what are your thoughts on the rapid advancement of human technology?
Megatron: Human technology? Don’t make me laugh! Give me a call when your bi-pedal scientists master anti-gravity drives, cold fusion cells, and intergalactic space travel. Next question.
TWITTERpated: I’ll just mark that down as “not impressed.” Moving on. Considering the infinitely advanced nature of the Decepticons’ communications systems when compared to those here on Earth, are there any Emerging Media trends that you actually find interesting?
Megatron: Ahhhh. Finally, a question worthy of my time… YouTube! YouTube is fantastic! It is an extremely primitive digital multimedia file distribution platform, which is seemingly dedicated to the endless stupidity of your wretched species. Also, Gangnam Style is just the best. I mean WOW, that guy can dance!
TWITTERpated: Interesting… I wouldn’t have pegged you as a dance enthusiast… What are your thoughts on other Emerging Media genres, like social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter?
Megatron: They provide your kind with considerable connective capabilities and from what my knowlege banks gather, they have greatly impacted your global economies by introducing U.S. based businesses to many new domestic and foreign markets. It also seems that recent initiatives to monetize these platforms have provided marketers with new opportunities to expand the reach and saturation of their brands. Also, in the near future, I plan to have Shockwave plug into the social grid via a hyperlink and distribute a transmodulating hexaphysical code, which will enslave your communications systems under Decepticon control… So it has that going for it too.
TWITTERpated: Note to self, close Facebook and Twitter accounts… O.K., great! So, Lord Megatron…
Megatron: Please excuse me for a moment… Hold the interview! STARSCREAM!!!!……………………. STARSCREAM!!!!! GET IN HERE!!!
Starscream: YES Lord Megatron! What is your bidding?
Megatron: Starscream, my voice processors are parched, head over to Starbucks and get me a Venti Pumpkin Spice Energon Latte, NO WHIPCREAM. So help me Starscream, if I find a single drop of whipcream, I will obliterate this mud ball of a planet… NOW GO!!!
Starscream: YES Lord Megatron!
Megatron: Proceed with your primitive postulations human! I will allow you one final query of my logic processors!
TWITTERpated: Lord Megatron. What in your opinion has been the biggest drawback to humanity’s New and Emerging Media?
Megatron: JUSTIN BIEBER!!! Are you kidding? What is the fascination with this kid? It’s like, can we please get more coverage about his hairdo? Seriously…? There just isn’t enough coverage out there about The Bieber and his hair. Once Optimus Prime falls, that kid is numero uno on my hit list!!!
TWITTERpated: Lord Megatron, I thank you for your time and best of luck with your reign of terror.
Megatron: Thank you. And please tell the mouth-breathers to “Like Me” on Facebook and follow me on Twitter @Megatron. DEATH TO THE AUTOBOTS!!!